Toilet Attendant, Regent Street - I can be quite clean when need be, and everyone likes a good shiny bowl. I think it would be rather cool re-enacting Toilet Duck adverts whilst handing out lollipops to inebriated harlots on a Saturday night.
Assistant Greengrocer, Highgate - I do love vegetables - My favourite being the Butternut Squash (so good in soups). I think working here would be a great incentive to eat more healthily too. I might even get some *free produce* at the end of a hardworking day arranging runner beans and taking stock of curly kale in the cold room.
Male Demonstrator, Hertfordshire - The job at hand is described as demonstrating 'As Seen On TV' items, initially at The Ideal Home Show. I'm hoping the fact I am female won't put them off. I'm also rather intrigued as to what items we will be demonstrating. I might even get to meet Laurence Llewelyn Bowen at the show!
Thursday 18 March 2010
Tuesday 22 December 2009
Re: Opportunities in the modeling industry
Whoops - The model agency have replied to my application and would like me to come for an interview. They can't be serious...
Hi
Thanks for getting in touch with Zenith Models. We have checked your
details and we would like you to come for an interview to our office.
We wanna go with you through standard registration form to get some more
details from you.
During the Christmas / NY time we have only 1 interview day left => 29
Dec (4-6pm).
If this is not suitable for you we can book you in for Thursday 7th of
Jan or Saturday 9th of Jan.
Please let me know what time suits you best.
Please make sure that you confirm that when you are coming.
Looking forward to hear from you soon.
The directions to the office below
Ambia
Best Regards
Zenith Models
info@ZenithModels.co.uk
www.ZenithModels.co.uk
tel. (+44) (0) 20 7858 3430 VERY DUBIOUS. The way this email is worded is quite sinister - "We wanna go with you through standard registration form to get some more details from you." - really? Wanna? Hmm...
If I was truly dedicated to this cause, I should definitely go to this interview. On the otherhand, I don't actually want to be a model. I like cake too much.
What do you think? Leave a comment with your thoughts...
Watch this space, I could be Britain's Next Top Model!
Re: Reply to your ad: Opportunities in the modeling industry
| From: | Zenith Models (info@zenithmodels.co.uk) |
| | |
| Sent: | 21 December 2009 11:55:08 |
| To: | thejobhunter@live.com |
Hi
Thanks for getting in touch with Zenith Models. We have checked your
details and we would like you to come for an interview to our office.
We wanna go with you through standard registration form to get some more
details from you.
During the Christmas / NY time we have only 1 interview day left => 29
Dec (4-6pm).
If this is not suitable for you we can book you in for Thursday 7th of
Jan or Saturday 9th of Jan.
Please let me know what time suits you best.
Please make sure that you confirm that when you are coming.
Looking forward to hear from you soon.
The directions to the office below
Ambia
Best Regards
Zenith Models
info@ZenithModels.co.uk
www.ZenithModels.co.uk
tel. (+44) (0) 20 7858 3430 VERY DUBIOUS. The way this email is worded is quite sinister - "We wanna go with you through standard registration form to get some more details from you." - really? Wanna? Hmm...
If I was truly dedicated to this cause, I should definitely go to this interview. On the otherhand, I don't actually want to be a model. I like cake too much.
What do you think? Leave a comment with your thoughts...
Watch this space, I could be Britain's Next Top Model!
Sunday 20 December 2009
Head up, shoulders back
Professional Model, Aldgate - The agency states they are looking for 'new talent'. However, it could be a bit of a long shot. I may be tall, but I don't even think my big toe could fit into any size below double figures, let alone size zero. Nevertheless, we must persevere and so have sent them a few of my fave snaps for their perusal. Watch out Kate, there won't be enough room for the both of us on that catwalk! (Literally... I am pretty massive...)
Turkey Worker, Essex - Bit dubious about this one. I'm not sure if it's a hands-on position, and if it is, which part of the whole Turkey process would I be working on? How does one 'work' a turkey? Is it for the rearing of the actual poultry or the making ready for Christmas dinner side of things? Also, it could be quite an exciting time to join this team, as it must be a busy season in the Turkey calender! "Rudimentary English required." - I'll try blag this if it gets to the interview stage.
Tattoo Artist, East End - At least this one is vaguely creative. I do like to doodle. Lots of swirly things and flowers. I'm also not too bad with needles (as long as I'm not the one being stabbed...) Actually, check this out. http://www.capohedz.com/typebrighter/2005/10/really-bad-tattoos.html It's true inspiration.
Turkey Worker, Essex - Bit dubious about this one. I'm not sure if it's a hands-on position, and if it is, which part of the whole Turkey process would I be working on? How does one 'work' a turkey? Is it for the rearing of the actual poultry or the making ready for Christmas dinner side of things? Also, it could be quite an exciting time to join this team, as it must be a busy season in the Turkey calender! "Rudimentary English required." - I'll try blag this if it gets to the interview stage.
Tattoo Artist, East End - At least this one is vaguely creative. I do like to doodle. Lots of swirly things and flowers. I'm also not too bad with needles (as long as I'm not the one being stabbed...) Actually, check this out. http://www.capohedz.com/typebrighter/2005/10/really-bad-tattoos.html It's true inspiration.
Friday 18 December 2009
No rest for the wicked
Treasury Assistant, The City - It's always been a childhood dream to look after treasure. Swimming through seas of gold coins and caressing ancient ruby-embellished artifacts (just like in the cartoon Ducktales - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nwH1taatvyM&feature=related) Marvelous!
Trainee Masseuse, Central London - "Applicants must have a good attitude, be well organized with a strong work ethic, Customer care, including a good standard of clear spoken English." - I can do all that! Looks like a winner to me, however, the Advertisement does note: "This is not sexual service"... Shame.
Father Christmas, Acton Town - Getting into the Xmas spirit now. Let's throw away those 'Bahh humbugs!' and embody the great St. Nic himself - Dishing out presents and good will at a children's party. Unfortunately the position requires you to bring your own costume. I'm sure I can rustle something up... anyone got a spare cotton wool beard?
Trainee Masseuse, Central London - "Applicants must have a good attitude, be well organized with a strong work ethic, Customer care, including a good standard of clear spoken English." - I can do all that! Looks like a winner to me, however, the Advertisement does note: "This is not sexual service"... Shame.
Father Christmas, Acton Town - Getting into the Xmas spirit now. Let's throw away those 'Bahh humbugs!' and embody the great St. Nic himself - Dishing out presents and good will at a children's party. Unfortunately the position requires you to bring your own costume. I'm sure I can rustle something up... anyone got a spare cotton wool beard?
Wednesday 25 November 2009
Fingers crossed
Breakfast Chef, Kensington - Some people have an unrealistic adversity towards the idea of eating anything in the morning, and instead survive on nothing but Starbucks and Special K bars. This can only lead to extreme abdominal growling by lunchtime. I, on the other hand, can wake up and eat anything, be it a bowl of oats, boiled eggs or toast. However, I have also been known to eat leftover chicken korma, tortellini and pesto, or I might even rustle up a pizza from scratch should I fancy it. If this application were to be a success, (I have a good feeling about this one) I know I would definitely bring a fresh and innovative new take on the 'Traditional British Breakfast' that we have grown to know.
Tree Climber, North London - This doesn't really sound like a real job. However, the Ad says they are "currently seeking an experienced tree climber to fill the vacancy of lead climber. The successful candidate will have at least 5 years experience and hold the appropriate NPTC qualifications." I think many people have grown up as young things climbing trees in their back gardens, picking apples, making swings, hiding from raging parents on a quiet sunday afternoon when you refused to do the washing up. And NPTC? I'm sure I qualified for that at some point.
Yoga Instructor, Morocco - I can do the 'Corpse Pose' pretty well.
Tree Climber, North London - This doesn't really sound like a real job. However, the Ad says they are "currently seeking an experienced tree climber to fill the vacancy of lead climber. The successful candidate will have at least 5 years experience and hold the appropriate NPTC qualifications." I think many people have grown up as young things climbing trees in their back gardens, picking apples, making swings, hiding from raging parents on a quiet sunday afternoon when you refused to do the washing up. And NPTC? I'm sure I qualified for that at some point.
Yoga Instructor, Morocco - I can do the 'Corpse Pose' pretty well.
RE: Application for Teacher of Music, Luxembourg.
So I got my first reply. Alas, it just wasn't meant to be.
Subject: Your Application
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:02:36 +0000
From: benedict.cole@hayes.com
To: thejobhunter@live.com
From: Job Hunter [mailto:thejobhunter@live.com]
Sent: 25 November 2009 00:06
To: Cole, Benedict
Subject: RE: Your Application
Dear Benedict,
Thank you for kindly getting back to me so swiftly.
Would you be able to elaborate on the terms of my application?
I would appreciate any feedback on my CV/application, as I am sure this would greatly help my chances of success in the future.
Many thanks for this opportunity and for your consideration.
Best Wishes,
Hannah
Subject: RE: Your Application
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:18:04 +0000
From: benedict.cole@hayes.com
To: thejobhunter@live.com
Subject: Your Application
Date: Tue, 24 Nov 2009 09:02:36 +0000
From: benedict.cole@hayes.com
To: thejobhunter@live.com
Dear Hannah
Thank you for your following application(s).
Unfortunately you have been unsuccessful on this occasion.
Your details are being held in our records however and are accessible to over 3,000 Hays recruitment specialists in the UK. Should a vacancy arise for which you may be suitable we will contact you again. Keep an eye on our website (www.hayes.com) and if you see a position that interests you please let us know.
In the meantime if your circumstances change or your CV needs updating remember to email us a fresh copy.
Thanks again.
Yours sincerely,
Benedict Cole
Team Manager
Education
From: Job Hunter [mailto:thejobhunter@live.com]
Sent: 25 November 2009 00:06
To: Cole, Benedict
Subject: RE: Your Application
Thank you for kindly getting back to me so swiftly.
Would you be able to elaborate on the terms of my application?
I would appreciate any feedback on my CV/application, as I am sure this would greatly help my chances of success in the future.
Many thanks for this opportunity and for your consideration.
Best Wishes,
Hannah
Subject: RE: Your Application
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009 09:18:04 +0000
From: benedict.cole@hayes.com
To: thejobhunter@live.com
Dear Hannah,
The position you applied for is a teacher of music post- I only consider qualified music teachers as potential applicants.
Thank you
Kind regards
Bénédict
Monday 23 November 2009
Sing when you're winning
Teacher of Music, Luxembourg - Everyone loves music, but especially me. In my time, I have been known to play the Descant and Treble recorder, clarinet, percussion instruments including drums, timpani, xylophone and glockenspiel. Not to mention obtaining a distinction for musical excellence as a member of an international Steel band (we could play 'Under the Sea' from the Little Mermaid!) and of course, numerous appearances in school musical performances, groups and choirs (Even starring in a production of a musical Christmas nativity at the Marlow Theatre, Canterbury!) Nowadays - I try to play guitar. And yes, I do own a Didgeridoo.
Overland Expedition Tour Leader, Africa - This sounds mega fun, driving around the bush, through Savannah's, on safaris...camping, having a laugh, seeing animals and meeting interesting people. Having lived, loved and traveled in Tanzania, this could be one application to actually watch!
Refrigeration Engineer, Central London - The number of times I've had to fix our old fridge, getting out the butchers knife every other day to hack away all the ice that was freezing my cheese and cherry tomatoes/preventing the door from closing. This is probably more than enough experience to handle this position.
Tea Manager, London - Anyone who knows me, could give me a reference for this job. I drink the stuff by the bucket, was bottle fed it as a baby... I should have been named Polly (put the kettle on) or Tetley. I'm obviously going to marry Mr Twinings or Earl Grey. Or both. Probably the most suited of roles I have applied to yet.
Overland Expedition Tour Leader, Africa - This sounds mega fun, driving around the bush, through Savannah's, on safaris...camping, having a laugh, seeing animals and meeting interesting people. Having lived, loved and traveled in Tanzania, this could be one application to actually watch!
Refrigeration Engineer, Central London - The number of times I've had to fix our old fridge, getting out the butchers knife every other day to hack away all the ice that was freezing my cheese and cherry tomatoes/preventing the door from closing. This is probably more than enough experience to handle this position.
Tea Manager, London - Anyone who knows me, could give me a reference for this job. I drink the stuff by the bucket, was bottle fed it as a baby... I should have been named Polly (put the kettle on) or Tetley. I'm obviously going to marry Mr Twinings or Earl Grey. Or both. Probably the most suited of roles I have applied to yet.
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